Ahhh Spring

This last week has definitely been a nice change. Warm weather hitting double digits, so nice. My whole neighbourhood is coming alive with activity as everyone gets outside and starts on their yardwork and flowerbed prep. I especially enjoy the longer daylight hours. Being able to walk Doogie at 8 pm and still be light out is so nice. I always feel myself becoming more alert and active as spring becomes a reality. Mowing the lawns, racking the leaves, watering the garden are chores, but chores I enjoy doing. I have started running 3 or 4 days a week again. It is so nice to be able to run without all the ice and slush. My knee is thankful I know. It actually is feeling pretty good with just the occasional bit of discomfort. I am continueing to wear my brace running, just to be on the safe side. It is still crazy busy around my household but that is the norm lately. I spent this past Saturday with Shelby at open training. She is practising every day, so proud of her. Her Da Mu Hsing is coming along nicely and we went over her red stripe combos. It has been along time since I did any of the white bely curriculum. Something I should do more often as it is the base of the pyramid and without a solid base you are just creating a wobbly pyramid. I am striving hard to achieve my blue belt. Its definitely a big step in my journey. Time to walk the dog, think I'll run him a bit tonight, good for him and me.

Kung fu runs in the family

My daughter has now begun her journey in kung fu. I am so excited for her. She wanted me to be on the mats for her first class but I told her that I thought it would be better if I just sat and watched. It is definitely hard to just sit there and try to by impartial, but I want her to get her own confidence and to feel as much at home in the kwoon as I do. The next few weeks are going to very busy with my whole family involved in a number of different activities. There are going to be a lot of hi/byes at the door as we pass each other. Fortunately its only for a month or so. We'll get through it, somehow we always do. I'm on a new work site now. Back downtown again for 7 to 8 months. Building an expansion to a data center in the Edmonton City Center Mall. It is definitely challenging as it is a 4000 amp service with 13800 volts being fed up to the roof from the basement. I expect I am going to be working some long days and hours this summer. I don't mind as it will all help pay for our trip to Mexico for my nieces wedding this coming November. If life wasn't hectic it would be boring. Time for a well deserved sleep and the beginning of a new week.

Silly me

This past week I went and banged my knee at work and of course it hurt like crazy. I hit it right on the side of the kneecap, ouch and a few other words came to mind. This weekend I decided to no longer let my injuries restrict my training. I have been shying away from the San shou class and was justifying it by saying it's only until I get better. But I really sat and had a long look inside myself. I realized I was accepting mediocrity again. I can attend class and just do what I am able, and modify the rest. I don't have to do everything and kill or re-injure myself. I don't have to worry about what everyone else in the class is doing. I can do the best I am able, and push myself to my own limits. I have heard this said a number of times, but I was sitting there folding laundry and thinking about my Kung Fu it finally sunk in. I can learn a little by watching, but only by doing am I really going to learn and improve. One small step on the road to mastery even if it's sideways is better then standing there doing nothing or running backwards and not realizing it.

Miss the team already

I think I managed to retreave all of this post. Here's hoping. This is the first week after the banquet and it has been strange. You would think I would love having all the extra time from no extra practises but that isn't the case. I miss the team and commraderie(spelling police check). I'm always amazed at how I get set into a routine and when it suddenly isn't there I feel all out of sorts. I definately felt like something was missing in my training this week. I know my wife appreciates having me home more, and I got to spent more time catching up on my family's activities. That I do enjoy. My family is important to me and sometimes I get to involved in my training and I get selfish. I need to get my family more involved and invested in my kung fu so that they see and understand what it is I'm trying to achieve. Without the support of my family I'll never achieve my black belt or any form of mastery. This week I have been focusing on what I really need to improve to achieve my blue belt. That's the next goal I have set. My forms and techniques feel good, of course forms can always be improved. Board breaking I know all the mental aspects, hopefully my injuries won't affect the physical to much. Chokes defences I need to review big time and get down pat. Look out open training here I come. The other goal I have set myself is to miss as few classes as possible this year. If I'm not in class I'm not learning and staying engaged in my training. I believe blue belt to be a big step on the way towards achieving my black belt. I have alot of hard work ahead of me, but if I can just approach my training in a mindful way, I know I can get it done.

what have i done now

My last two blog post are somehow stuck in draft limbo. I have been trying to enhance my blog site and I have obviously messed something up. I love technology, but sometimes it likes to play jokes on me. I can get part of my one blog but the other is blocked atm. So will have to see if the old memory is up for a challenge. I think I have managed to reset things properly and I guess I'll find out the hard way when I post this blog. This past week has been good, all the snow hasn't bummed me out like I thought it would. If anything my walks with Doggie have been amazing. So peaceful and quiet. Even slugging through the deep snow has been enjoyable. Todays walk completely replenished my spirit. The sun was warm, not a sound except for the occasional bird and no wind as we walked along the trail beside the train tracks. I am so looking forward to no snow or ice. But today it just didn't matter. I love the ahhhhhhhhh moments in life.

An awesome nite with friends and family

Saturday nites banquet was fun, inspiring, happy sad and most definately awesome. I so look forward each year to the banguet. Yes it's a ton of work, but in the end it is always worth it. I was more nervous this year then last. The demo with Sifu(know I'm gonna mess that up a few times) Robinson was very fast paced and intense and being his nite I wanted to to the best job I could for him. Yay we didn't kill each other for real. The muse demo was even more nerve wracking. I put in alot of hours the last 2 weeks fixing my stick form. I was not expecting to be in the muse demo doing stick. I know that was no excuse not to be better prepared. Even when I thought I was ready I wasn't even close. I had learned stick with bad technique and everything looked incomplete and jerky. My stick was my nemesis or so I thought. What I realized was I was my own worst enemy. I let my frustration with my lack of wrist flexibility and my elbow injury( I find out in a couple weeks what I did to it) distract me from putting in an honest and true effort with my stick form. I started down the path to mediocrity, but thanks to Sifu Rybak and Sifu Brinker for believing in me and allowing me the opportunity to switch tracks and show that I could be better and do better then I was. Nothing in Kung Fu has come especially easy for me. But I have not had anything challenge me the way my stick has. Looking back on it, that is a good thing. I have learned to focus better and pay more attention to my training. And to ask for help earlier. I am not ashamed or afraid to ask for help. Heck I have a ton to learn yet so I had better not be. I have to be more honest with myself when I'm struggling and not get into such a deep hole that I can't get out. I can't wait to watch the video from the banguet, just to see how many things I can improve. That's the one thing about practising at home, it's easy to think everything is ok with your form when you can't see yourself. But if you're truly honest with yourself there is always room for improvement. On a side note I am going to substitute kicks for pushups until such time as I get my elbow injury fixed. It is getting worse at times and pushups hurt like heck now. Oh look an opportunity just sprang up, who woulda thunk it. Thanks Sifu Brinker for the way you word things, it sticks with me and I am able to grow, that is definately not something I would have been able to do 3 years ago when I first started this amazing journey.

Year of the snake

I am looking forward to this next year in my journey to become a martial artist. I am a snake, so that's cool to start with. Second I am growing bit by bit, step by step everyday. I am nowhere near where I want to be with my effortless effort. But I am gaining the tools I need to achieve that. It's going to be very wierd to not be an official member of the team this year. But I wont stop what I know is working for me. That means doing my daily situps and pushups(or kicks til my elbow heals). I want to and need to stay engaged in my training. I'm still helping instruct the kids classes. It is so rewarding to me and I am able to give something back to the kwoon that is giving so much to me. The kids inspire me, and motivate me in so many ways. I see my struggles in theirs and share in their triumphs and even their failures. I know I expect to fail at times. I'm human and far from perfect. But to learn and grow from your failures is a far greater gift then vast riches or false praise. Society seems to be driven by the acceptance of mediocrity and the pursuit of wealth or things. To find a place and a group of people who don't want that and are striving for a better self and a better community and better world. Thats the place I want to be. I feel I have found that at Silent River Kung Fu. Thank you Sifu Brinker for unlocking the door and allowing me to begin an amazing journey. Now I just have to make the most of the opportunity and work hard at being a better martial artist each day then the day before.

Away she goes

I'm editing this post from last week as in my total lack of sleep I managed to send it to my draft folder and not post it. Sorry everyone. Staying up for 37 hours straight was definately not a good thing to do. Just an hour ago my daughter headed out on her first big solo life adventure. She and 20 others in her grade are headed to Quebec city for winter carnival. They will be very busy each day with various activities, from sledding to going to circus school. I'm really glad my wife and I were able to give her this opportunity. It took alot of budgeting and some sacrificing but it was worth it. It's going to be her first airplane flight and her first time away from us for an extended period of time. Part of me is nervous, but mostly I am excited for her. Her dream is to go to Paris someday. I think this experience will only stregthen that dream. We'll be able to facetime with her on my sons ipod. I can't wait to see the expression on her face as she tells us about her first day. The stories she'll be able to share and the sights and culture she'll experience. You can't get that from a book or video. I'll miss her terribly, but at the same time I'll be happy for her.

headcold nightmare

This past 4 days have been no fun at all. Been bed ridden with a super bad headcold. Of course this is the worst time of year to get sick, but sick I am nontheless. I think I'm finally on the upswing as it seems to be breaking up a bit and on occasion I can actually smell something. Between my ears needing to pop and not being able to taste or smell properly my head is a ball of mush. I can't wait to feel better. I'm getting in a little training, but little is the optimum word. I hate not following my routine. See you all in the kwoon soon, I hope.

Tiger challenge....wow

This past weekends tournament was awesome. I can't thank everyone involved enough for the efforts they put forth to achieve such a great event. The most rewarding part of the day for me wasn't competing in my own events. I knew going in that I was injured and I went into the tournament with it being used as a oppurtunity to grow as a martial artist. I did ok in my events, I know I can do better in the future and I learned that even as calm as I thought I was, nerves still hit me during my hand form. I love doing forms. I found myself tightening up and this caused some balance issues nearer the end of my form. Lesson learned, relax and breath. Let the form flow, and you are never as prepared as you think you are. The highlight of the day for me was talking to all the kids that were competing. Listening to their triumphs and their failures. Not one young student that I talked to was upset that they didn't or hadn't yet won a medal. They were trying their best and having fun. That to me is what the whole tournament is about.I was especially moved by the conversation I had with Mr. Powell, for such a young person to have such a great outlook on life and his place in it. If only I could have had that kind of insight into the world. He is someone to watch in the future as I think he will truly make a huge impact in anything he puts his mind to. Congratulations to all the grand champions. You all inspired me in various ways. The only thing I was a little saddened by was the small amount of adult competitors. To be able to watch the Sihings and Sifus compete was the icing on the cake. Watching how they move and do the forms. Definately shows me where I want to be in a few years. The other thing I wish we could achieve is to have more people stay to watch the final competitions. It is definately a wasted oppurtunity to not go. Now its time to go to bed, I have a headcold that is trying to block my nasal passages like a beaver dam. Lots of good rest should take care of it though.

reflecting on my year

I have really been taking a long hard look at this year in the I Ho Chuan. My successes and especially my failures. I totally agree with Sifu Brinker that you can learn so much more from your failures, then you can from your successes. 90% of my sucesses have been of a physical nature this year. I will achieve my pushup goal next week and my situps were done over christmas. I wont stop doing them, they are part of me now. I have had to adjust my pushups with more tricep dips due to my elbow injury, but I am still getting in reps. I have almost doubled my kms goal for the year. Between work and all the jogging I have done this year, that has been a breeze. My flexibility has improved, but I have a long ways to go yet. I expected it would take time and pushing to far, to fast would be a mistake. I got my reading of 12 books done plus a few extra ones. Wher I haven't done as well is the mental side. When I'm running or walking the dog I get my walking meditation in no problem. But I haven't gotten into a proper and consistent routine at home. This is something I will have to work harder on this coming year. The other thing that I noticed this year is that I let my knee injury and elbow injury distract me from my training. I became unfocused and scatter brained. Add in the christmas season and I found myself slipping badly. I have missed a number of classes lately due to meetings for my daughters upcoming trip to Quebec and other family issues. Being a husband/father/martial artist has been extremely demanding of late. I have had increased demands on my time, but no more hours in the day. I have learned the hard way that getting less then 6 hours of sleep a nite for a week straight is not good for my health or mental fitness. I have had to give in various areas at various times to accomplish and meet all my commitments. I am not going to be on the I Ho Chuan team this coming year of the snake and I'm a little depressed about that. I will miss the team immensely. But I also am realistic that I would miss a number of the team commitments and I don't want to let the team down in any way. I will still continue on as if I'm on the team. Doing my requirements and blogging(hopefully more succesfully then this past year). I have gotten so much from these past two years. I am not going to return to the person I was before, that would be truely crazy. I learn so much about myself becoming a martial artist. Things I dont want to admit and others I am proud of. But by becoming more aware of who and what I am, I am growing a little bit everyday. I have managed to push myself past limits that I didn't even know I could reach. Who knew this old fart that was an overweight couch potatoe could become someone who wants to live, breath and yes even ooze kung fu. My passion for kung fu is still growing and I consider that a blessing. It means to me that I have found something I can do for a lifetime and enjoy the entire time. Oh I expect valleys, but I look forward to the view from those hills so much.

Holiday mayhem and time to reflect

This past 2 weeks have been a blur for me. I was busier during the holidays then I have been at work. Between all my commitments, it seemed like I never had enough hours in a day. Sleep suffered til the last two days before going back to work. Then I forced myself to slow down and get proper sleep. I got alot of projects completed which is good. But didn't get in nearly as much kung fu practise as I wanted. I have been having long talks with my wife about my time commitment to kung fu and my commitment to my family. I need to find a better balance and to learn to really make quality time with them. Ever since the team meeting on saturday I have been going over the year. There is so much to think about and really absorb from a year in the I Ho Chuan. My next post will cover that topic, it's still a work in progress. I did realize that I lost a bunch of my focus and drive leading up to christmas. I let the distractions get to me and I find that I'm not happy about that. It is something I need to work on for the future. I got my pushups, situps and alot of kms in over the break. But the mental aspects of my kung fu suffered alot. I have made alot of gains physically this year, but I realize that without the mental balance, that my true progress will be very limited.