The importance of blogging

I have been going over the importance of blogging and what I have heard, learned and now need to embrace about blogging. Blogging is a tool that can be just a hoop for some to jump through, or it can become an amazing tool that really helps you become engaged in what and how you are doing things in your life. It can impact not just your kung fu but also your everyday life if you let it. When you're blogging consistently as a member of the I Ho Chuan, you are connecting with your teammates. By reading and hopefully commenting on each others blogs we are getting insights into our teammates. We see their successes, their hopes, their trials and even their failures. I for one find I can learn from all of that. Being alone struggling through something more often then not sucks. But having a positive minded and supportive team behind you can inspire and motivate in ways you can't do alone. You never know the impact you can have on another by just sharing your journey towards mastery. I have yet to hear of or read of someone who has had an easy road to mastery. Mediocrity is easy to achieve, we see it all around us everyday. But mastery is something worth working towards. It won't happen over nite or even in a month or two. It's a life long journey with many twists turns and sometimes detours along the way. By blogging about what we are going through on our journey we may help another avoid a pit fall or two. We may inspire someone to try something they didn't think they could do before. We can even get a word or two in return that helps us through a difficult time or aspect of our training that we just can't quite figure out. I am finally starting to see what Sifu Brinker means about how much more someone can learn about themselves by overcoming their failures as opposed to just coasting along and not truly stretching our limits and expanding our thoughts. I am not a great writer. Math is my strong suit, or give me something mechanical to fix and I am in there like crazy. When it comes to writing my ideas down I sometimes get to many things going on in my head at once. Blogging has helped me try to put my thoughts and ideas down in such a way that I can make them understood. This helps me focus better. I don't think mastery can be achieved without focus, discipline and definately hard work. If you stay in kung fu for any length of time, you can't be afraid of a little hard work. But achieving the focus and discipline is by no means a piece of cake. Becoming mindful of everything we do and how we impact others. Thats very powerful. How we impact another can have a huge ripple effect, that we often aren't even aware of or can see. But it is there nontheless. I know I have a long ways to go in my journey. But I have alot of teammates and friends at Silent River Kung Fu that are going to make that journey memorable, fun, exciting and very enjoyable. I would rather be in a tiny room full of friends then in a enormous room full of indifferent people anyday.

Sept 30 th blog

When my internet started acting up I started hand writing my blog. Here is the first one I did. My daughter wows me. I often blog about my kids. But I noticed that I do so more about my son then my daughter. We both do alot of the same things together so its easy to focus on his achievements. I started spending some more time with my daughter so we could connect more. She is truly amazing me this year. She loves to sing, dance and act. This fall she has taken on 2 major productions. She is in Horizon stages Aladdin and she got a lead role as Red riding hood in her schools major production of Into The Woods. So now she is rehearsing 4 or 5 days a week. On top of that she wants to do basketball again this year. Tryouts aren't for a month yet and I personally don't think she can do all 3 at once, but my wife and I have left it as her decision. We trust that she can make the right choice. To see the smile on Shelby's(my daughter) face when she got the news that she was in these productions was awesome. She is becoming so much more self confident and believes in herself. Everyone in my family sings well with the exception of myself. I can make it through a toon, but a few cats and dogs may run for their lifes on some notes. Shelbys singing has always been good, this year she is becoming even better. I am so proud of her and happy that she is challenging herself and loving the choices she is making. As a Dad I can't be any happier.

Absent and in limbo

I first want to apologize to the snake team. By not blogging every week like I should be, I have been a wonderful example of what not to do. But also a terrible teammate and I have definately lost alot of my focus and engagement the last few weeks. I Have no honestly good excuses. It started easy enough with problems with my internet service and computer. But looking back, I had a number of other ways to still get my blog out each week. So I took the easy way and let myself down. Then after a few weeks went by it became less urgent to get back blogging. I fooled myself thinking that just because I was maintaining my pushups, situps etc that I was still fully engaged in my kung fu. I know now that that wasn't the case at all. A large number of distractions have been cropping up in my life lately. The jobsite I'm on is winding down and there is uncertainty about where I go and even when I go to the next site. All the work my company has gotten in the last few weeks is out of town work, meaning that I would be away at least 4 days a week or more. This would severly interfere with everything I am doing in kung fu. It would also put a huge strain on my marriage and I would not be able to spend time with my kids as much as I like to. I know now after a long nite of soul searching and thought. That dealing with all the obstacles that are popping up in my life would have been much easier to deal with if I was blogging like I was before and staying fully engaged in my kung fu and ultimately, myself. I have never been one to share my short comings well. But I am only human and have to admitt that it doesn't show weakness to share your failures or the areas I am needing work in. I have grown so much from the first day I started kung fu. But I have only taken a few steps on a long journey towards mastery and what I believe to be an amazing future in kung fu. It has taken 2 years to finally realize that change can be good. Scary, nerve wracking and unknown sometimes. But change with a goal and focus towards that goal can be empowering and inspiring. It is better by far to be part of a like minded team and not an individual. An individual can get easily moved off their path. But a team can pull you back on track and help you maintain your path. I have realized my failure, now I have to prove I have learned and get back on track.

Starting young

My sons grade 5 class is starting a project this year that will extend into all his years in school. They are learning how to blog, comment cratively and positively on other blogs and how to leave a positive electronic footprint in todays day and age. I am really looking forward to seeing how Jordan does with this and hopefully we can inspire each other as we grow in blogging. I think it is a great idea for kids to learn this skill. So often today we hear about one person or another and how they had to withdraw from a contest or political office due to some stupid thing they posted or did in the past. Todays age is so much more fast paced and the world has truly shrunk in size when it comes to the internet. We receive news almost instantly today, whereas in the past it could take months for news of big events to travel the globe. Most issues were considered local and were barely heard about in other areas. Today we hear all about everything and anything in hours and even minutes. The problem I feel is that alot of news today seems to glorify the bad in man as opposed to the good. We instantly hear about mass murders and attacks or suicide bombers. Sadly it seems bad news sells and is watched. Greed and waste are seen as normal and acceptable by todays youth. Commerciallism and the all mighty dollar are more important then feeding our fellow man or doing the right thing. Hopefully by starting today my son can learn to not accept everything as fact just because its on the net like some people do today. I want him to grow up to show a positive example of what it means to be a human being on the planet earth. I hope he can learn right from wrong and fact from fiction. With proper guidance I know he can. Technology has grown and effected our lifes in ways I couldn't even imagine from when I was in grade 5. It is going to continue to do so. Giving our kids more skills now, can only help them in the future. I can even imagine that some day my sons kids will say," You had to use keyboards when you were young?, Wow thats so old school!".

Opportunity knocks

I saw a quote this week that really got me thinking. It said, "Every single person you meet knows something that you don't". That hit me in a way that got me thinking about opportunities. Every time we meet someone there is an opportunity to learn, grow and influence. In every interaction we have at work, the store and the kwoon, we have an opportunity. Being aware of and making the most of the opportunity is the hard part for most people. It's something that I have finally become more aware of. I am no where near perfect in making the most of my opportunities. But I am becoming more aware of where I am and what I am doing. I believe that is the first step to making the most of the opportunities presented to us every day. The difference between grumbling and complaining about what a hard day we are having or persevering through a tough task with a positive attitude can have a profoundly different impact on the people around us. That impact can then project to even more people as the ones we influenced, encounter even more people. I am not perfect and don't ever expect to be. But I can be mindful of how I am impacting the people I come in contact with daily. Hopefully with practise and patience I can work a positive, helpful, inspiring spirit into everything I do, from my work to my kung fu. Especially my kung fu when I'm helping in the kids classes. A child with a positive outlook, confidence and demenour can be anything they set their mind too. That is truly inspiring to me.

Renovation week complete?

The past few days have seen very few people turning out to help with the renos at the kwoon. I understand that its the final long weekend before school starts, but the renos are important and we can't resume classes if they aren't complete. I saw so much excitement and energy at the beginning of the renos. The tiling went so quickly and smoothly. It was very inspiring and was awesome connecting with so many people on a more personal level. Then for some reason the excitement and energy really fell off. I want to thank Sifu Lindstrom so much for again leading the renos. He truly has great vision and boundless paitence and energy to see the renos through. Thank you for allowing this wannabe carpenter the chance to grow in my skills and commitment. I don't look at renos as a chore or a duty. I look at them as an oppurtunity to invest myself in the kwoon. I'm proud of my second home and want it to look as awesome as it can. Yes that is a bit of ego, but ego that is good in my mind. How we finish something is as important as how we start, possibly even more so. It's like the I Ho Chuan, starting great full of energy and good intentions is great, finishing great is even more important. Half done means not complete. I would prefer to complete a project as best as I can, then to only complete 50% of a project amazingly then stop and do nothing. I am finally understanding the true definition of commitment and responsibility. Now to take that understanding and apply it, thats the next step.

What the I Ho Chuan means to me.

I have spent the majority of this year sitting back watching and listening to everything and everyone on the team. Being the lowest level belt on team, it has been hard for me to know when to speak up or even what is appropriate to say. I am leaps and bonds ahead of last years fiasco, but still I am failing because I haven't been a teammate like I should be. I have been inspired by every single member of the team at some point or another. Every single member has gotten me to think about a topic in a way that I would never have done on my own. It is because of the team that I have opened my mind to possibilities that I would surely have missed if I wasn't on the team. But I have internalized most of those aha moments and have not been as supportive a teammate as I should be. That stops now. Everyone on the team and even everyone in the kwoon has influenced me to some degree. I am having the most amazing journey physically right now. I am meeting or exceeding all my goals physically and its because I have seen and heard the message from all my teammates that I could do it. So I said no more excuses and dove facefirst into the pool. Last year I came up with a million excuses to not give my all. This year I want to give my all and more. I could have fallen into the excuse trap, but a comment at a meeting or watching someone struggle with a form would provide that spark that if they could do it, so could I. My failure was to shout it out and return the inspiration. Even those on the team that think they have failed haven't if they can just reconnect with the themselves, the team and the kwoon. Don't wait for next December or next week even. Do it now. Sure it may be rough at first, but you have a team there to help you. We are not alone in our journey as long as we are willing to humble ourselves and ask for the help we all need at some point. My wife asked me last weekend why I do kung fu so much. I wanted to give her the most honest answer that I could and I have really searched my heart and soul for the answer. Its because I am finally becoming the person I always wanted and hoped I would. I am like a child that is finally becoming fully aware of his/her environment and my place in it. I am finally becoming aware of the impact I have on everyone and everything around me. I no longer want to accept mediocre or the so called norm. I want to excell both phsyically and mentally and I want to be a positive influence on the lives I touch. I was 45 years old and 232 pounds when I started kung fu. I was so terribly out of shape when I started that 10 pushups or situps was a real challenge for me. Mentally I was completely messed up. I was definately of the glass is half empty mindset. I was cynical about way to many things in life, and I had no real long term goals other then to keep paying the morgage and provide for my family. Kung Fu has presented me with an oppurtunity to better myself and everyone I encounter along my journey. I am far from perfect and I still mess up. But I have learned to accept that aspect of my growth. Growth is my main goal now. That includes both phsyically and mentally. The physical is progressing better then I would have hoped and I am truly happy about that. The mental growth for me is much more difficult. Seeing the people I am inpired by fail and not pick themselves up, dust themselves off and try again frustrates me. It can seed a small kernal of doubt in my mind and I have to work hard at destroying that doubt. Yes each persons journey is their own, but as a member of the I Ho Chuan it is also part of my journey. I am frustrated when I dont know how to help someone on the team. I am even more frustrated when I don't know how to approach a higher belt. That is something I need to learn and improve if I am going to become a true teammate. I have become much more aware and engaged in my own journey, now I need and I think all the team needs to become more engaged in each others journey. Everyone has the potential to become a black belt(Sifu Brinker has stated this many times), but we all need help along the way to achieve that goal. No one can do it alone. Lets show everyone in the kwoon what being a team is all about and finish this year with the roar of a dragon like we started it.

How are you influencing your kids?

This past weekend I spent two 12 hour days at the NAIT pool. Both of my kids were swimming in regionals. The top 6 competitors made the finals then the top 2 from the final go to provincials next weekend. Neither Jordan nor Shelby made it to any finals in their solo races. But I was very proud of them for both besting their times by 5 to 10 seconds in every race they swam. Shelbys relay team finished 5th and I was so proud of her for not giving up. She wanted to swim breaststroke but was put in the backstroke position. Not her strongest stroke, but she tried hard nontheless and didn't quit. Jordan got gold in two relays, the IM in which he swam the final leg which was freestyle, and then the freestyle relay on Sunday. Something about being in that energy charged atmosphere really got them going. They were both going around to all their teammates and competitiors wishing them luck and congrats. I asked them on Sunday nite how they enjoyed themselves? They were both positive even though totally pooped out. Up until this weekend, both of them were thinking of not going back into swimming next year. But now both are rethinking it. Jordan has to put in even more practises this week to get ready for provincials. Sadly he'll miss both his Kung Fu classes this week. But he is working hard to help his teammates and improve even more. Jordan is benefitting so much from his Kung Fu. Not only is it a great outlet for all his energy. But the respect and discipline he is learning is really helping him focus. He got excited a few times this weekend. But all I had to do was make eye contact and move my hands and mouth the three rules of concentration and he would come back down and center right away. I know how much Kung Fu is helping me grow as a person and change from a lifestyle of lazing around being a couch potatoe. Its awesome to see the changes it is having on Jordan as well. He inspires me in so many ways, and I don't hesitate to tell him so. Jordan says he watches how hard I work at my Kung Fu, and that inspires him. What may surprise him is that I watch him even more and that motivates me to work even harder. I love that we can work together and grow together. No amount of money can replace our love and the bound we are forming. Btw I do have picture doing pushups at botht he zoo and callaway park. I still need to download them off the camera and then figure out how to post them. I'll figure it out, just may take a bit.

One stripe closer

Yay I moved one stripe closer to achieving my green belt. Just my black stripe to go and then to test. I have been going over all my curiculum(spelling check please) everyday and I am really trying to understand the why, as well as the how of the technigues. Needless to say I am getting more and more little notes all over the place. Sifu Prince has really challenged me lately to put even more of an effort into my kung fu and I am stepping up as best I can. I am far from smooth or flowing at times(usually when I think to much), but I am understanding how my body moves a little bit better. His explanations of techniques really click for me. I learn from both watching and doing. That added verbal explanation can really help me understand even further. My family and I are off to Calgary for four days. Going to the zoo and Callaway park and visiting family. It's going to be more challenging maintaining my structure but if necessary I should be able to get creative. I'll be sure to get pictures doing pushups and post them with my next blog. I hope everyone has a awesome and safe long weekend and I will see you all back in the kwoon on wednesday nite.

July was a blur

Is it just me or did July pass by in a blur. July is a crazy busy month for me and my family as there are 11 birthdays to celebrate in my family. At one point there were 16, but some of my relatives have passed away, some at an early age. Turning 47 this year got me thinking about where I was when I started Kung Fu. I was 30 pounds heavier, got winded after 2 squat thrusts and was toast after 5 push ups or sit ups. Now I love doing pushups and situps. Squat thrusts are still a challenge but due to all the running I have been doing this summer I am slowly getting better at them. The one thing I'm really happy with is my recovery rate. Before when I got winded or tired it could be 10 minutes or more for me to recover my breath and heartrate. Now I'm ready for more after 30 seconds to a minute. Much much better. I am working hard at building a strong base for my kung fu to grow on. I have so much to learn yet and technigues to work on, but I dont let that tower over me. I take it one day at a time and progress forward. My next goal is my green belt and I am making progress on my last two stripes. I have been an orange belt for a year now, but I look at that as a good thing. Good technigue and flow now, should lead to good power and better technique and flow in the future. The I Ho Chuan team is responding well to the challenges we have been making to each other. But I still want to reach those that have disappeared off the radar. I understand that people have decided not to grade this year. I hope we as a team can inspire and help them get a running start now, not at the start of next year. I truly believe that if they can get going now, by the time next years I Ho Chuan starts they can already be in maintaining mode and have an awesome year. I am far from a perfect person and definately have a ton of growing to do as a martial artist. Being in the I Ho Chuan is no cake walk and I would never want it to be. I know there are goals I'm struggling with and others I may not achieve. But I want to be able to look myself in the miror and be able to honestly say I tried my best to do my best. If you can do that then I believe you have had a successful year.

that was awesome

Yesterday was completely awesome. I have never sweat so much and enjoyed a day at the kwoon as much as that, except for pandamonium. I was already soaked from fitness class(nothing new there) and then an hour of sparring after that and I felt like I had taken a dip in a swimming pool with my clothes on. Sifu Stoddart really is great at getting us to work our butts off and enjoy it at the same time. I can't recoommend the class enough. All you need to be is positive, enthusiastic, fun loving and willing to sweat buckets in front of others. Even if you're not all those things come out and I bet you will be after a few classes. It has helped with my conditioning enormously. I love sparring with the members of the I Ho Chuan. I get schooled the entire time, but I don't fear being hit or overwhelmed. The control that the Sifus and Sihings have is something to behold. I learn a little bit from every person I spar with. I am able to see things, I just can't always get my body to respond in the correct way to block or strike like I should. I accept that at my level and totally expect it. I am getting more confortable sparring and really working on my level of control. I hope we have many more days like yesterday. I'm sore as heck today, but its a good sore. One that lets me know I worked hard and it was totally worth it. I'm the lowest belt level on the team. But that doesn't mean I have any more excuses or reasons to slack off or not be accountable to myself and the rest of the team. Sometimes being the lowest makes me question myself on how to encourage or help out the rest of the team. I have often noticed others on the team are missing blogging or aren't in class or the kwoon as much as they were at the beginning of the year. I am still struggling with how to approach them. If they aren't attending the same classes I'm in or not showing up at I Ho Chuan practise or missing the meetings, how do you just say "hey, how's it going?". That is something I need to work on and improve. I have been too wrapped up in my own journey this year and I need to be more engaged with the whole team. That is something I will improve on. I failed miserably at last years UBBT. Mostly because I didn't know how to ask for help or how to communicate my failures. I thought I had to be upbeat and positive about everything I was going through. It took a long time for me to get it through my thick skull that it was the struggles that Sifu Brinker was looking for. I have been lucky this year to get a better stucture in place and to set small goals that progressed towards the bigger ones. Not everything is going perfect by any means. My stick and flexibilty being the two big ones. But the biggest thing I learned between last year and this year was to not stop doing what worked and to readjust what wasn't. I have years to go before I even achieve Sihing level. But I can't thank Sifu Brinker and everyone on last years team and this years team for giving me such amazing examples to follow. I'm building a base for myself that I hope will be made out of granite and not the sandstone that was there before I started kung fu.

wow its hot outside

This past week was sure a challenge to keep up with my structure, due to the heat. I got lots of walking in, but running, especially with our dog was out. He was suffering much more then I was. I am sure I can sweat standing still in a hot room. So this week was all sticky and icky. I drank tons of water and kept up my structure so very happy to not give in and just not do my training. On Saturday I took my kids to their swim meet in Devon. I managed to bake to a nice medium rare from 7 am til 5:30 pm that day. I was totally blown away by my kids persistance and effort. Jordan won one race and finished in the top 5 in his other 2. Shelby got a 7th, an 8th and a 9th. What made me very proud of her was that she didn't quit. She was getting over a head cold and was very tired. She even said to me that there were a few times she wanted to stop, but she didn't and finished every race. I can't ask more then that they try their best and not give up. At the end of the day they both ended up on 2 relay race teams. They weren't expecting it and it was a bit choatic as the teams were formed last minute but again they tried hard and didn't quit. I surprised them with large slurpees on the way home. I really missed not being at fitness class or open training. But I got to spent an awesome day with my kids and that is so rewarding to me. I did get in lots of pushups and situps. Even though people thought I was nuts doing them in the heat.

Meeting moment ahas

I was surprised how many people missed the I Ho Chaun meeting this week. I always get so much from every meeting, that I don't want to miss one. I am inspired by everyones triumphs and failures. For anyone to be able to admitt in public to a room full of their peers that they are struggling, really helps me to relate and get to know someone. Just the shear courage it can take is inspiring. But the biggest thing for me at my level and where I am in my Kung Fu is those aha moments that I go, I had feelings like that. Or that is where I was heading. I am very far from perfect and I have a long and big journey ahead of me, just to achieve my black belt. But achieve it I will. By being with so many amazing, positive and honest human beings, I can't help but grow. We are all human, we hurt, we cry, we fail, we procastinate. But we also heal, laugh, overcome and renew ourselves. I have learned to embrace the little progressions more dearly then the big ones. I have learned to listen with my whole being and not just pay partial attention. I am learning to push myself further then I thought I could go and to not let small obstacles stop my progress. Even moving sideways is progress, only in a different direction. I am learning how to achieve structure in my life that will enable me to progress to the goals I set myself. But the biggest thing I am learning is to live in the moment. To be aware of myself, my actions and how I am impacting everyone I come in contact with. I have so much learning to go and to put into action. But even up until a year ago I would have let the fear of failure or the realization of just how much more there is to go, stop me in my tracks. I would probably have done nothing to avoid it. Because I didn't know how or was even aware that I had stopped. I think I finally get that failure is ok. As long as you learn from it, get back up and try again in a slightly different direction. Alot of what I have learned is from what everyone talks about at the meetings. If I didn't attend the meetings I would be nowhere near where I am today. I am constantly in awe of the amount of knowledge, courage, humility and inspiration that is available to all the students of Silent River Kung Fu. I hope I can embrace all of it even more on my road to becoming a true martial artist.

Half the year has past

This past week has gone by so fast. I can't believe it's July already. Half the year has past in what feels like the blink of an eye. I tested for my red stripe on wednesday last week but didn't achieve it. I felt off and I know I wouldn't have given it to me either. Sifu Prince had some things for me to work on and the feedback was awesome. I can do technigues over and over again at home. But no feedback makes me rely what I'm feeling from my body and sometimes it likes to trick me. The subtle things that Sifu mentioned will make a huge difference in my flow and 6 harmonies. I look forward to improving and trying again in 2 weeks. The Canada Day parade and demos went very well. Mr. Timchuk sure is fun to keep up with when he is in the front of the lion. After 2 blocks of side to side and low dips I was pooped. He was having an great time with all the munchkins along the parade route and I could hear them all oohhing and aweing as we approached so all the effort was well worth it. My demo of Kempo 1 and 2 went ok. I had some balance issues on the grass with the small slope and little holes. Didn't fall on my butt or have to do a big recovery through the form so that was good. Still lots to work on but I'm progressing bit by bit. I love being able to do demos for the school. It's a way of giving a little bit back to the kwoon. I am getting so much from kung fu, being able to give something back only seems right. Canada day was nice. July 1st is also my sister in laws birthday, so the whole family got together and had a big brunch and sat and chatted after. The sun came out and we all roasted in the sun. Its truly amazing the see how much my nephews and nieces are growing up. They are moving out on their own and finding their way in the world. I'm proud of the choices they are making and how responsible they are being to themselves and the world at large. They aren't perfect(nobody is), but they aren't self centered and think the world owes them either(thank goodness). With the lack of accountability and effort required of kids in high school nowadays I worry for the future a bit. The sense of entitlement that some of todays youth is developing is scary to me. I was raised to believe that you had to earn what you received and that life wasn't handed to you on a silver platter. Some times things weren't fair, and you had to learn accept the good with the bad. You made the best of what you faced and accepted criticism where it was due and praise only if warranted. The policy of some schools to not give zeros and only grade work completed, is accepting way to much mediocrity for me. The real world may turn out to be a huge shock for alot of kids that graduate high school nowadays. If they only do half a job or only what they feel like doing. How long do you think they will remain employed. Sometimes we have to suck it up and do the things we don't like to do, as well as those things we do. Taking pride in a job well done, seems to becoming more rare as time moves on.

Sore but oh sooooo happy

Yesterday was boot camp. What an amazing day. I struggled like crazy during the fitness portions but I just decided this year that no matter what I would keep moving and not let my mind defeat me. I didn't have any set goals for the day except for one and I'll talk about that after. I went into this year( my second) with a much better understanding of what a great opportunity boot camp is. To be able to challenge yourself mentally and physically like that is so awesome to me. I feel like I have been reconditioned and overhauled and come out a better person for my experience. I am very sore today but not achey. It is a good sore that is feedback telling me I worked hard and pushed myself. I got to know alot of my fellow students better and made new friends with students from other classes that I don't see very often. But the best part was being around such amazing people. All through the day you was great being cheered, encouraged and motivated by everyone there. I went into the fitness test with only 1 general goal and 1 specific goal. My general goal was to push myself and do more reps or have better times in all the catagories. I have my sheet from last year and I wrote down this year beside last years numbers. I am happy to report I tied or beat all my numbers from last year. The one specific goal I had was to do the run in 13 minutes. My best time before saturday was 13:35 which I did running with the advanced kids class on wednesday. Thanks so very much to Mrs. Rice for being there and saying over and over again " you can do it, don't stop, lets sprint at the end, go go". She was so positive that I couldn't let her down and I just keep going, even when we went through that swarm of bugs and we both got our protien for the run( not so yummy btw). My time at the end was 12:13. I was stunned and thrilled. I even had to ask Sifu Prince twice just to make sure I didn't hear her wrong lol. Today I am in the afterglow. Sore and tired but content and happy with my effort. I was exposed to great classes and I even remember some technigues. I have cool bruises on my arms from the grappling(makes me look tough, not). I'll need another long hot soak tonight especially after taking doogie for a 10 km walk this afternoon and then mowing the lawns. No pain no gain right. Actually the walk was nice and I got to review yesterdays events and work on my walking meditation some more. If I had to do 10 squat thrusts to save my life it would be a close call but I would get them done somehow then fall over and die anyways, but I wouldn't quit. I am not as young as I once was, I know I need to get more physically fit. My shoulder issue frustrates me at times but I still try and push as hard as the young pups do. I almost had to produce my id to prove that I turn 47 next month. A number of people at bootcamp were "there is no way you are that old" or "you sure don't look that old". I'll take those as compliments, because there are days I sure feel that old. But I don't ever want to act that old. I'm a kid at heart and I love how kung fu is challenging me to become a better person in all aspects of my life. It's a heck of a roller coaster ride and the brakes are a little suspect, so all I can do is lean forward, put my hand in the air and enjoy the ride.

Finally coming out of the haze

Il like I'm slowly coming out of a haze. I am getting over the insane head cold that I had, and getting more energy and motivation again. The past 2 weeks have been a bit of a struggle for me mentally more then physically. I get my numbers in, I just don't feel like I am getting reps in, almost like I'm static. That was until this week. My wife challenged me to help walk our dog a little more. I ran with him morning and nite saturdays and sundays. But she was walking him monday to friday each morning and most of the nites to. I felt like I didn't have more time to give but realized that was just an excuse. So on monday and wednesday nites when I take Jordan to his kung fu class at 5:30, I bring Doogie( I know doogie why doogie, but that was the name he came with). While Jordan takes his class I that doogie for a walk back around the hospital on the trail. Then when I get to the school I do laps running with him til he gets worn out. His stamina needs some work just like mine. Monday was beautiful and very warm after the walk we got 4 laps in and doog was spent and needed water some I walked one lap after to cool down and gave him water and waited for class to end. Wednesday was much cooler out but still nice. That nite I got in 6 laps and by lap 4 where I usually start to struggle with my breathing, I just felt great. I relaxed and the next 2 laps were almost effortless. Thats the zone I used to reach when running in high school. It felt amazing. At least I know I'm slowly improving. I love having feedback, either positive or negative. I learn so much from both. That for me was my bodies feedback saying keep it up, things are getting better. I am so looking forward to boot camp this coming weekend. Last year was my first time attending and it opened my eyes to so many possibilities. I know I will still struggle with the fitness stuff but I look forward to the challenge now and like to give all I can. I have so much to learn and do in my journey as a martial artist. But I believe that if I can learn early on to push myself and exceed my mental limitations that I'll grow in ways I can't even imagine yet. Hope to see you all there as we finish the run, that feeling is truly incredible.

dang headcold

This past week was going great and then I went and got a silly headcold. By friday morning I was completely stuffed up and feeling lousy. I'm still feeling blah but I am getting slowly better. This cold seemed to hit me just when all the poplar pollin was at its height. I have never had allergies that I'm aware of, but a number of guys from my work site said they developed them after years of being in construction. That being said I going to try something like aleve or reactine when my headcold clears up as I have found myself sneezing more the last few weeks before it hit. If nothing changes then I may have to admitt I might be getting a little older then I thought. Oh well, it's spring, the sunny days have been awesome, the rainy ones too. All in all life is good.

Back in the electronic world

Sorry to have been absent. Two nasty computer viruses and many weeks have passed. Fortunately I believe everything is fixed on my computer now. I wasn't able to blog here, but I did keep a written log so I could more easily catch up. May 7th. Pandamonium was awesome. It was great to see it all come together and I believe the day was a grerat success. No matter how much money was raised, what was accomplished and started with the first pandamonium is truly inspiring. For me personally it was a day of laughter, sweat and alot of thinking. I love how Silent River gets invloved in the community and the empathy that is taught. The kids I see in the school are on their way to becoming very well rounded and thoughtful human beings. May 14th. This week was just another blur as time seems to be passing at warp speed. Spring is here and being able to get outside more and more is awesome. Even if there is a ton of yardwork to do, I still love being outside in the fresh air. With my mother in law being in her final few weeks of chemo tharapy at the cross cancer I have had to pick up a bit more of the household workload and parenting, as Kyla(my wife) has been spending alot of time visiting her mom and encouraging her on her recovery. I think I am seeing a little glimpse of what Sifu Brinker calls organized chaos. I am keeping up my numbers with spurts of push-ups and sit-ups here and there, where I can fit them in. Getting a little less sleep, but thats okay as well. May 21st. Finally broke the 205 pound mark. I have been hovering between 205 and 207 for the last few months. I think the fact that I am running 3 or more days a week is really helping. I have hit approx. 1 1/2 kms without stopping now. I'm wheezing a bit at times which concerns me a bit. I have a physical coming up soon and will have to mention that then. Just making progress in my running is awesome after lasts years mess. My next goal in my kung fu is to achieve my green belt. I have two stripes to go. I like the approach Sifu Prince is taking with our class and I know with consistent practise I'll achieve my goal no problem. May 28th. This past week has really gone by fast. My crew is doing amazing at work and we are getting close to completion of the pod I'm in charge of. Light fixtures and receptacles are being installed and its nice to be able to start turning things on. It's still a little crazy at times, but that just seems to be the nature of this job site. I have been able to start working on my stick forms outside and I'm feeling more comfortable with my weapon. I know I have a long ways to go yet but that is to be expected. This past saturday was truly inspiring to see how well everyone worked together to install the new mats. It went very smoothly and everyone was having a good time while working hard. When I take part in events like that in the kwoon, it really connects me to it. I feel very at home there and find it easy to leave the tensions and demands of the world at the door when I enter. It helps me focus so much more on becoming a better martial artist.

Spring has sprung

This last week has been busy as all can be. Between my daughters final dance festival and kids dentist appointments etc. I have been kept extremely busy this week. I haven't hit the frazzled point yet. But I definately felt like the week flew by. The Kwoon is looking awesome and I'm excited for Pandamonium. It should be a very fun day. My training is continueing on pace and my flexibility is slowly improving (yay). I am able to run a little further each weekend and that's encouraging. I'll always be happy with sideways or forwards progression, as long as I progress wisely.

marvelous and amazing

This week has been very energizing for me. I have been able to participate and watch some amazing events. First off I got to take my daughter to her dance competition in Fort Saskatchewan this thursday. Her group received a gold and they won the coriography(spelling police check please) award. I know how hard she has been working and practicing and to see the smile on her face was priceless. Next I got to be there when the wall came down at the kwoon. Wow, my hats off the Sifu Lingstrom for having a vision and seeing it through. Totally awesome and very cool to be a part of it. Being able to put a part of myself into the kwoon energizes me and humbles me all at the same time. I get so much from my second home, it's nice to be able to give something back. Spring is here and it is so nice to be able to get outside and do yardwork and forms. My new neighbours are probably wondering who the nut is outside sweating up a storm. All I can say is wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I love spring.

Freeing my mind

The last week has been challenging but also rewarding for me. Work is progressing at an amazing pace and my crew is doing an outstanding job. The spectre of layoffs is always looming, but so far it has just been peeking around the corners afraid to show itself.

I have come out of a fog lately and find myself much more mindful of everything I'm doing and everyone and everything I'm interacting with lately. As an example, shopping for groceries the other day I was able to do 14 acts of kindness by just paying attention to all the other shoppers around me. They were simple things from helping reach items on high shelves for a few people to helping an elderly lady transfer her groceries from the cart to her car. I took my time as I shopped and realized how in the past I would just rush through getting what I needed and not pay attention to my surroundings. I meet some very nice people and totally enjoyed my shopping experience instead of missing out.

I honestly can't say what has changed for me, except a desire to want to better myself and my life. But I have opened my eyes to the world in a way I have never looked at it before. My stress level has dropped enormously and I am much more relaxed.

I have also started setting much more finite goals and challenges for myself. For example I have achieving my green belt in my sights now. I felt stagnated in my progress even though I was getting in my numbers etc. Now I'm feeling energized and motivated.(maybe it's the kwoon expansion, it's awesome working on the tools after so long) Also something else that really has stuck with me was when Sifu Brinker talked about how we can push ourselves harder and more then we realize, its all mental. That really hit a cord with me and I find myself pushing harder in warmup and class and holding stances longer even though my legs are screaming at me to just stand up. My mind set is changing in a good way and I'm definately seeing the results, yay.

Something was missing?

This last week has been not bad. My own classes are going well and I love the challenges of learning to grapple and spar better. But I felt like there was something missing all week. Then it dawned on me, no kids classes. I truly enjoy helping out in the kids classes and not having any classes this week left a void. I look forward to working with the kids and trying to connect with them all. I also learn so much from just observing the instructors of the kids classes. I have so much more to learn when it comes to an eye for detail, understanding and patience. But I believe with time that will grow. I think because I'm a kid at heart is why I enjoy the company of kids as much as I do adults. Kids can teach you so much about yourself because they see and tell things as they see them, without sugar coating or editing the things they say or do. I'm thankful everyday that I followed through and asked Sifu Brinker if it was okay to help out. I am definately becoming a better person and growing in ways I never would have imagined.

Run, walk, run walk

Now that we have a new family member it has become my job to walk him each saturday and sunday morning(not sure when I agreed to that but oh well). Last year one of my goals I failed at miserably was my running. I used to love running everyday up until I was about 22. Then I made the idiotic choice of becoming a smoker, which I did til I was about 35. When my wife became pregnant with my daughter we both made the smart choice and quit smoking. At the time we were dancing 4 days a week and were quite active. But from age 38 til when I started kung fu in november of 2010 I only played a little softball(which is short sprints) or walked occasionally. The inactivity had hit harder and deeper then I realized. When I started running last year it was with way too high an expectation and no idea just how much work it was going to take. The last 2 weekends I have started running approximately 1/2 km, walking 1/2 km as I take Dougle(our new dog) for his walk in the mornings. This much more practical and realistic approach is working well so far. My endurance is getting better slow but sure. Fitness class helps a ton, but I still need to actually run longer distance to improve my endurance and breathing. I have put alot of effort and time into working on good form and technique(which I will continue to do each day). But I need better endurance and flexibilty as well if I want to grow as a martial artist. Both of which are goals this year and are both progressing bit by bit. Fortunately I have the young dog to pull this old dog along. Hopefully if I fall flat on my face, he won't drag me to far before he stops hehe.

Going through the motions

Sorry I'm late getting this out, had some internet problems this week and it took shaw a bit to figure out the problem. Hopefully no more internet connection problems. I have been feeling a bit blah last week. I'm still doing my routine each day but mentally I'm not as sharp as I should be. I think this is partly due to my work load and also that I am so looking forward to spring. I haven't been able to practise stick as much as I would like due to the fact we got a new dog on the 10th. He's an amazingly good pup(8 months old), but as soon I pull out my staff he thinks its play time. It will be so nice to be able to just go out in the back yard or the park behind my house when the snow all melts. It will also work well for forms as I will have tons of rooms to do them and not have to stop and shift all the time. I have been trying Sifu Prince's idea of doing a form in a 3x3 foot square at times, it is definately a challenge.

Here's looking forward to warmer, snow free weather soon.

Going through the motions

Sorry I'm late getting this out, had some internet problems this week and it took shaw a bit to figure out the problem. Hopefully no more internet connection problems. I have been feeling a bit blah last week. I'm still doing my routine each day but mentally I'm not as sharp as I should be. I think this is partly due to my work load and also that I am so looking forward to spring. I haven't been able to practise stick as much as I would like due to the fact we got a new dog on the 10th. He's an amazingly good pup(8 months old), but as soon I pull out my staff he thinks its play time. It will be so nice to be able to just go out in the back yard or the park behind my house when the snow all melts. It will also work well for forms as I will have tons of rooms to do them and not have to stop and shift all the time. I have been trying Sifu Prince's idea of doing a form in a 3x3 foot square at times, it is definately a challenge.

Here's looking forward to warmer, snow free weather soon.

Dealing with the daily grind

This year is going so much better for me then it did all last year. I have finally started to get a set routine of push-ups/ situps each day. Plus being more aware of my time and doing 5 and 10 mintue segments of various parts of my training when and where I can fit it in, is working well for me. Even though the stress level at my jobsite is growing, and so to is my work load. I find I'm not stressing out like I used to in the past. I still hate having to lay a good worker off just due to the fact we are short of work. But I no longer allow the negative feelings that creates, dominate my thoughts. Being in the kwoon as much as I am definately helps me. I find I leave the outside world behind when I enter the door. I focus, work hard, learn, get corrected and relearn over and over with no stress or negativity. Then when I leave the kwoon and head home each nite the stress I left behind at the door is no longer as pressing as it was. I still have miles to go, but I finally feel like I'm moving forward again. I know I have been on a long plateau for some time. Now I feel like I'm moving uphill and that feels great because I'm making progress again. It sometimes feels like I'm trying to fill a tanker truck with a thimble when I look at all that there is to learn. But then a calm voice enters my head and says of course its gonna take time, enjoy it. That's what I can say has really clicked for me the most. No matter how hard the workout or form or technique I'm trying to learn, I'm thoroughly enjoying kung fu on a level I haven't before. As Sifu Brinker says ( and I truly get it finally), there are just things you can't do YET.

Blown away

This week I started out being sick with the brutal flu that has been going around. I went through the worst of it monday and tuesday. I was finally able to eat something late tuesday nite and keep it down. Then being the stubborn guy I am I went to kung fu class on wedsnesday nite. I took something for the sniffles and headache I still had and figured I would just do what I could. We ended up testing for our blue and yellow stripes that nite. I already had both, but have always believed that just because you have a stripe doesn't mean you can slack on it. Blue stripe testing was not bad. I didn't have as much power as I usually do, but my I don't think my form was totally sucky. Then we hit the fitness test. Push-ups went better then I thought they would, sit-ups ok. Then we hit roundhouses and I started to run out of gas. I didn't go full speed, instead I tried to concentrate on good form and technique and got through the kicks. Then burpies began. Oh my did I hit rock bottom. By 10 I was completely gassed and struggling. Even Sifu Lietz came over to see if I was ok. Some how I got all 20 done, but it took everything I had to complete. It wasn't til well after class that I realized the change that has occured in me. A year ago, I would have just stayed home, thought I'm sick I don't need to go to class. My mindset has changed dramatically from then. Now I want to go to class and do the best I can no matter how I feel. I am no longer satisfied with just doing enough. I want to do the best I can and push my limits whenever possible. I like the drive I am developing and I look forward to where it is going to take me as I continue my journey in kung fu.
Now for my blown away part this week. I help out with the kids classes on tuesdays and thursdays. I really enjoy doing it and I learn so much from the kids each and everyday. It is very rewarding to be able to give something back to the school and I look forward to it each and every day. This last thursday, one of the yellow belts gave me a hand drawn thank you card. She said it was for helping her so much with her kung fu. I was completely floored and I really didn't know how to respond at first. I did tell her that I should thank her, because I get so much enjoyment from helping all the kids in the classes. It dawned on me that I don't thank those that teach me as much as I should. So here is a start to that, "Thank You" everyone in my classes and to all the Sihings and Sifus that teach and inspire me each and every day.  I am truly lucky that I didn't let the opportunity pass me by when my son challenged me to start kung fu. I am also lucky to be part of such an amazing, inspiring, caring and motivating family that is Silent River Kung Fu.

In cruise mode

I don't know if its good or bad that I seemed to be in cruise mode this past week. I'm still geting up early getting in my push-ups and sit-ups. Even when I goofed tuesday and set my alarm for pm and got up late at 5:20 I still got ready and got my push-ups in with no fuss or panic( amazed my wife and myself). Having the monday off was odd. You would think the week would fly by but I always feel like I missed something during short work weeks. I'm getting alot of 5 or 10 minutes or practise in all over the place and it is definately working for me. No set times to worry about meeting, just do what I can when I can. Even when making supper the other nite I found I had time to do a couple reps of kempo 1 and 2 and work on my stances and how I move in the form.
I'm am not anywhere near effortless effort but I am finding myself much more aware of my time and what I am doing during the day. I have even managed to be close to completing my first book. It is "How to be Compassionate" by the Dalai Lama. It is not an easy read as I find myself rereading alot of the chapters trying to truly understand the concepts and ideas in the book. For all he has been through in his life, the Dalai Lama is truly an inspiring man. I thought I was a fairly compasionate person before I started reading, but now realize I have a long ways to go to achieve true compaasion for everyone I meet and encounter in my life.

Getting a little more comfortable

This past week was my second round of sparring with members of the I Ho Chuan. I will admitt I was very nervous when I realized that all the people that had shown up were Sihings and Sifus. I have to thank everyone for making it a great learning opportunity. Everything I have done in sparring has been with as much control and limited contact as I could manage. I'm not afraid to spar, its more I know that I have limits on my control and reactions in sparring. The first rounds two thursdays ago were me basically trying to see when my opponent was moving and just trying to react to them, with an occasional front thrust kick or a couple jabs thrown by me. This last thursday I was finally seeing more and trying to counter and flow more. I know I have a long ways to go, but I am happy that I am growing more comfortable and gaining a better understanding of how people move. I see better now when and how my opponent is moving but I still have a long ways to go when it comes to my reactions. I know I tend to use the wrong block or really big movements that put me in unbalanced positions or open me up.  I had so many aha moments as each of my opponents showed me different ways to counter, block or even attack with flow. Thanks to everyone that "schooled" me as the saying goes. With alot more practise and time I hope I can help someone in the future as much as I have been helped the last few weeks.

fitness class is awesome

Finally got back into the fitness class this week. It is definately one of the hardest but also for me one of my favorite classes. I am challenged every week to complete the class but I look forward to that challenge. This weeks workout pushed me further then I ever thought I could go. Thanks Sihing Robinson for encouraging and exhorting me to exceed what I thought were my limits. I always drag my but for half an hour after class, but it is so worth it. I just wish I could convey better to everyone at my belt level how beneficial this class is. It helps me in strength, endurance, balance and also mentally as well.Then to follow it up with open training makes for me a complete day.

It was awesome to see so many people out this saturday taking advantage of the open training. There were all belt levels and activities going on and everyone was working and helping each other out. Thats one of the many things I like about Silent River, is the sense of family and the working together as a team. It's nice to know that there is always someone available to ask for help with even the smallest aspects of my kung fu. I am going to make a bigger and better attempt to encourage and maybe inspire more people to come out for the fitness class and open training. I can't completely put into words how strongly I believe going too both, has helped me grow as a martial artist and as a person. But hopefully my euthusiam and positive attitude will spill over just a little and give someone a spark to want to grow and learn from so many amazing examples that we have in the kwoon.

Mental lows, physical highs

This has been an extremely trying week for me mentally. Work has started to affect me on levels that I'm not very comfortable with. Last week we had some layoffs on our site. Sadly my site is the only big project going at the moment for my company and we no longer require 220 electricians and data technicians to complete the job. So 25 men and ladies were laid off at the end of the day last thursday. One of those individuals must have felt that I had something to do with their layoff and decided to get even. My company has a whistle blower program that just came out in december. The disgruntled employee proceeded to send in a complaint about me that was rambling, vague and untrue. But because it was put in anonumously and had my full name I had to proceed to prove my innocence. I thought about how to respond to the accusations politely and without malice or getting my hackles up as they say. What got me down in the dumps was that even though there was no proof of wrongdoing and I was even told that the job I was doing was exemplary, my project supervisor wrote me up for the complaint to do his due diligence as he called it. I have never been in this situation and was both stunned and taken aback. I felt that my reputation and character had been thrown out the window and it has taken a few days to get over second guessing everything I do or say at work. I have always been proud to work for the company I do and to do the best job I can at all times. But I feel now like I have been betrayed in a way. I have come to realize that my project manager is only doing his job as he sees it, and in the that light I am not angy or bitter. I feel more let down then anything as I always believed that my company would back up a good worker to the best of their ability. Not so it would now appear. So now I need to reassess my future and where I want to be in the next few years in my career. All in all this may turn out much more positive then the small picture I am seeing in front of me at this time, time will tell.

On a very positive note I responded to Sifu Brinker's challenge and I have been getting up a little earlier each day and getting in at least 90 to 120 pushups each morning(sets of 30). My shoulder is doing well so far with no inflamation or tenderness so far, knock on wood(aka own head). I thought of a lot of excuses about why it would be hard to get up earlier and do this, but I finally realized I was just procastinating.  Finishing off the rest in the evening is a breeze in either my own classes or when I'm helping with the kids classes. It only took a year but I finally got it. Situps I get in the evening as I normally due crunchs, plank or variations and get my numbers no problem.

one good step forward along the road the mastery, I'm sure there will be stumbles along the way, but with the teams help and inspiration I know I can right myself.

Mr. Hamilton

I Ho Chuan begins

First blog of the new year. I am so excited about this year, alot of changes but still the same in many ways.  There are alot more requirements for me this year compared to last year, but I am going into this year with a much greater awareness of what I am facing. There are alot of new faces and names that I don't know very well at the moment. Names for some reason always give me trouble, yet faces I can remember for ages.
I have started the year a bit behind the eight ball as they say. I have one heck of a headcold that is very draining and peristant. It has gone from a stuffy nose to pressure on my right ear. Its like I need it to pop like when you are in an airplane, but no matter what I do, I can't seem to releave the pressure. No matter your size, a tiny microscopic organism can bring you down. Very humbling when you think about it.

This year I will be doing Stick 1,2 and 3 and at least Kempo 1,2 and I hope to work in 3 if possible.
It's going to be a big learning curve to start, but I am looking forward to the challenge.

Mr. Hamilton
First blog of the new year. I am so excited about this year, alot of changes but still the same in many ways.  There are alot more requirements for me this year compared to last year, but I am going into this year with a much greater awareness of what I am facing. There are alot of new faces and names that I don't know very well at the moment. Names for some reason always give me trouble, yet faces I can remember for ages.
I have started the year a bit behind the eight ball as they say. I have one heck of a headcold that is very draining and peristant. It has gone from a stuffy nose to pressure on my right ear. Its like I need it to pop like when you are in an airplane, but no matter what I do, I can't seem to releave the pressure. No matter your size, a tiny microscopic organism can bring you down. Very humbling when you think about it.


This year I will be doing Stick 1,2 and 3 and at least Kempo 1,2 and I hope to work in 3 if possible.
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta

Slow and steady week

I have been nursing toe and shoulder injuries this last week. I jammed my toe while slipping on the ice christmas week. I sure have been hard on my feet this year. I expect that is quite normal in martial arts. My shoulder I hurt skiing. A young girl came out of the trees directly in front of me. I'm still not sure how I missed her but I managed a spectacular crash onto my right shoulder and hip. It has made doing push-ups a bit tougher but I find by doing the so called ladies pushups, the strain doesn't hurt to much to do them.  I'm just glad I didn't run over her. 200 pounds crashing into a little 40 pound munchkin would not have been good.   
It feels so good to be back in the kwoon. I like practises at home, but I find I am more focused and at ease in the kwoon. It has become a second home. There is an excitement and anticipation growing as the chinese new year banquet looms ever closer. I am really proud and honoured to be a part of the dragon dance team this year. To be able to give back to the school and everyone there is so amazing. Today I was thinking about how long Silent River has been teaching Kung Fu in the area and all the people that have come before me.  I can see why so many people who achieve their black belt stay to teach and help out as they can at the school. The sense of family, tradition and of being part of something larger then oneself is very moving and humbling to me.
I am slowly working out a better training schedule, so that I make better and more productive use of my time. It is definately something I need to work on and refine more.
Here are my personal goals that i wish to achieve on top of the I Ho Chuan ones.
1) Read at least 12 books like "Peace Is Every Step"

2) Work on gaining flexibility and more movement in my joints and body.

3) Continue to be more aware of what and how I eat. I will Track my food intake every second month.

4) Complete 10 minutes of walking meditation a day through Tai Chi or simular movement.

5) Work on a better training schedule and give myself one day off a week for my body to recover from the stresses I am putting it through.

I turned 46 this past summer and some days I feel it more then others. I was very active and fit during high school put when I graduated I started smoking which I did for 12 years and I havent been nearly active enough the last 6 years since I stopped dancing competively. I have definately struggled at times to train every day and get my pushups and situps in daily. I have a pretty good base started now I need to continue to build upon it and try to achieve the effortless effort that Sifu Brinker has talked about.

First blog of 2012

First off I want to apologize for not completing my blogs on a strong note for UBBT 8. Alot of crazy life issues and work issues, then my old computer crashing all deverted my attention from blogging. No matter what is going on in my life I know I need to make time to get my blogs in. 10 minutes less sleep is never going to kill me.
Sifu Brinker asked us to talk about what we learned from our successes and especially from our failures this year.  It is something I have been thinking about alot the last month. When I first got into the UBBT 8 last year I had no idea what I was getting myself truly into. For someone who had become basically a couch potatoe and was very inactive as opposed to active I had my work cut out for me. I remember vividly struggling to do 10 pushups or situps when I first started kung fu in november of 2010. Bending down to stretch was truly sad to see me barely touch my knees. But I learned to keep trying even on the days I hurt like heck and could barely catch my breath in warmup.
I can't thank everyone in the fitness class enough for incouraging me and most definately inspiring me in becoming a less round person and more in shape.  The class was never brought down to my level, I had to work hard to achieve a level where I could keep up with the rest of the class. Somedays I felt great some not so much. But I learned to keep going even if it was at half speed. I still have a long ways to go to be truly fit but I get better bit by bit, day by day.
The one thing this year I didnt accomplish was to get my 5k run in. I ran every day in high school and somehow had myself convinced that getting back into running shape would be a piece of cake. Man was I disheartened when I started running in the spring. 11 years of smoking and another 15 of no where near an active enough lifestyle have put me alot further behind the old 8 ball as the saying goes then I wanted to realize. I lose my breath and find it very difficult to get back when I'm running. I am going to have to really work on a more gradual aproach to my running and see if I cant do a whole lot better this year then last.
I am so happy that my son convinced me to start kung fu. I have become part of something so much bigger then just myself. I'm part of a group of people who are trying to better themselves and the world around them. I am constantly amazed at what a truly fortunate person I am. I get inspiration from Sifu Brinker right down to the smallest of the tiny tigers everyday that I am in the kwoon. A year ago I was a negative, sarcastic thinker. Now my crew at work says I'm more relaxed, and positive. I look forward to the challenges each day instead of with dread. I just do the best I can. There is no such thing as perfect, just the road to mastery and hopefully discovery that life is truly incredible along the way.
I am by no means the best father, husband, colleage or human being that I can be. There is alot of work to do and old habits to correct before I can even say I'm pretty good. But at least now there is a small light at the end of the tunnel and a path to start on to get me there. The path is gonna have lots of  branches and twists and turns on it and most likely some fallbacks. But if I can just keep focused on the outcome then I know the journey will be well worth it.
Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to fail Sifu Brinker. It has taught me more about myself then I am probably even aware of. But I will work on becoming more aware, so that I can grow and learn even more.